Sunday, November 17, 2013
Wandering Through the World
For a long time, the impression I have gleaned from all sorts of people and places is that I am simply wandering--wandering through the world, sans purpose, sans faith, sans hope and sans charity. I carefully keep my values in good condition: prudence, temperance, justice, and fortitude, but even as I do, charity slips into obscurity, and along with it, hope. Faith I do keep too, so I was in error to say that I was sans faith, although my faith is sorely tested these days.
The lasting and confusing decline of my partner of over 57 years continues unabated, and it tests me deeply to be her caregiver. I seem to have become short-tempered and willing to pull the trigger far more often than earlier---sometimes too fast! When you do that, you lose most of the time. But, there is a sunny side to the situation too, where beauty, kindness, tenderness, passion and radient love still comes through to gladen my days, and makes my serendipitous wandering of greater importance, because there is a rainbow to be found at the end of almost every day!
For a long time, the impression I have gleaned from all sorts of people and places is that I am simply wandering--wandering through the world, sans purpose, sans faith, sans hope and sans charity. I carefully keep my values in good condition: prudence, temperance, justice, and fortitude, but even as I do, charity slips into obscurity, and along with it, hope. Faith I do keep too, so I was in error to say that I was sans faith, although my faith is sorely tested these days.
The lasting and confusing decline of my partner of over 57 years continues unabated, and it tests me deeply to be her caregiver. I seem to have become short-tempered and willing to pull the trigger far more often than earlier---sometimes too fast! When you do that, you lose most of the time. But, there is a sunny side to the situation too, where beauty, kindness, tenderness, passion and radient love still comes through to gladen my days, and makes my serendipitous wandering of greater importance, because there is a rainbow to be found at the end of almost every day!
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